To the editor:
My wife says, “Go to the store and get a loaf of bread.” She writes “bread” on a slip of paper and hands it to me. I put it in my pocket. I go to the store and get a cart. I like to lean on something while shopping.
Down the aisle, I find blue cheese-stuffed olives. I love them. Ah, here’s sardines. I love those little cans, better get two. Oh, here’s something that looks good. Ah, anchovies. Hmmm, wonder what this is? I’ll try them, etc.
I go home and lay it all out on the kitchen cabinet. “What is all of this stuff, and where is the bread?” Oh, oh, I forgot to take the slip of paper out of my pocket.
Now, this story is not one-sided. I go to the store with my wife to buy groceries. We first pass the clothing department. No, no, we never pass the clothing department. I look for a bench.
Later, I find her in the baby area. “Oh, isn’t this cute!” “Hon, we don’t have a baby. We don’t have grandbabies. We don’t know anyone who has a baby.” “I know, but isn’t this cute!”
Next is the shoe department. I look for a bench. Thirty minutes later, “They don’t have anything in my size.” Thank God.
Finally, we get to the food area. She sends me to get something. I find it and bring it back. “Did you compare the prices?” Nope, I go back. I return. “Did you check the date?” Nope. I return.
Now, my wife has a cartload of boring groceries and heads to the checkout. I head for the wine aisle.